Well… I haven’t been very good at keeping up with this blog. OR my healthy eating. So…. there’s that!
BUT I’ve rejoined Weight Watchers after a brief hiatus due to extremem busy-ness/laziness and I’ve rededicated myself to getting healthy. I’ve joined Mark Fisher Fitness here in NYC and started their Snatched in Six Weeks program yesterday. You have to check in with their fitness coaches about your diet (keeping a journal) as well as exercise five times a week (three in the ‘Ninja Clubhouse’ as they call it). I briefly tried Snatched for two weeks in March before my wonderful boss passed away and I caught bronchitis standing outside crying after his funeral. Yes, I’m seeking pity here, it’s been a rough couple months.
In Snatched, we take “before” pictures and then six weeks later we take “after” pictures to really show us how our bodies have changed after six weeks of eating well and working out. Once I received my “before” pictures from my first – half completed – attempt at Snatched, I knew I needed to do something. They’re… Well as body positive as I try to be, I have to admit that I’m embarrassed that I actually go out in public looking like this. After graduating college and no longer having a barrage of pictures uploaded after every hangout, I suppose I’ve lost the real sense of what I actually look like. It ain’t too good.
Yeah… If you think I look miserable it’s because I AM. I have wrecked my body, my skin is a mess and scarred as a result, I’m afraid even if I lose weight that I’ll have significant loose skin and stretch marks… Ok, so I’m not miserable in every way, I mostly love my job, I love my boyfriend, I have some really great friends. But in general, I no am happy. I’ve started back up with the bad habits from middle school, standing in the mirror simply staring and hating, staring and hating. I’ve spent so much of my life doing this. I don’t want to be this way forever. I NEED TO MOVE PAST IT.
What’s almost worst is that I know I’ve been completely complicit in this health downfall. I’ve done it to myself. But at least I’ve taken responsibility? That’s the first step, right? RIGHT?
As of today, my sad, sad stats are as follows –
Weight – 187.4
Waist – 46.5
Hips – 47.5 (guess I carry all my weight in da belly)
Body Fat – 38.7%
Not so great. But I’m cautiously optimistic. I read somewhere that 97% of people who lose weight gain it all back. That’s a terrifying statistic. But that means that THREE MILLION out of every hundred million DO. I can be a part of that. I’m strong enough! I WANT IT ENOUGH!